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Home Invasion By Hopping Hooligans!

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Written by: Op-Ed Ratty News

DUSTY GULCH GAZETTE - INVESTIGATIVE FEATURE

OPERATION POUCH PILFER: THE DAY THE FENCE WASN’T ENOUGH

By Roderick “Whiskers” McNibble (who has reviewed the crumbs)

The Morning That Looked Innocent

It began as all disasters do in Dusty Gulch -  pleasantly.

Clear skies. A faint hum from Mrs McFookit’s rolling pin. Bandit the joey practising mid-level hops in the front yard. The fence was upright. The lawn respectable. The wheelie bin compliant.

Nothing suggested that by 11:17am, the town would be whispering the phrase:

“They came in broad daylight.”

Read more: Home Invasion By Hopping Hooligans!

A Pint of Home: Guinness, Gran, and the Luck of the Irish

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Written by: Paddy

As St Patricks Day approaches again, I cannot help but think back. There’s a moment, when I'm sitting under the wide Australian sky, that this old Paddy finds his mind drift homeward.

The sun beats down, the land stretches endless and dry, yet here on the coast it is green and wet,  but in my heart, I can still hear the rain pattering against the old stone walls of home. It’s in those moments that I remember the simple things - the warmth of the kitchen, the smell of the soup, and the sight of my Gran, sitting by the fire, sipping her nightly glass of stout. “Good for the blood,” she’d say with a knowing nod, as if the deep, dark drink carried the very essence of Ireland itself. And maybe it does. Because wherever you find a pint of Guinness, you find a bit of home.

So here is my story about Guinness. And it might not be the record book, but it has its own fair share of record breaking stuff. 

Read more: A Pint of Home: Guinness, Gran, and the Luck of the Irish

A Diesel in the Shed

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Written by: Op-Ed Monty

It has been a few months since the sad passing on the 15th of November 2025 of one of our favourite posters, Viv Forbes. I still catch myself expecting to see his name beneath an article -   steady, measured, and armed with that unmistakable blend of bush wisdom and scientific clarity.

I miss his wise words. I miss his common sense.

Few contributors left a mark quite like Viv -  a true son of the bush.

Born in Warwick in 1939, Viv brought the practical insight of a geologist, the grit of a working farmer, and the sharp, disciplined mind of a lifelong student of economics, politics, and the real science of our changing climate.

He never minced words. Through his articles, he defended carbon as the gas of life, challenged green orthodoxy, and reminded us to trust evidence over hysteria. His writing was clear, courageous, and often laced with that dry Aussie humour that made you nod in agreement while allowing yourself a quiet smile.

Viv wasn’t just a contributor here. He was family. As are we all. Here. On our blog. 

Read more: A Diesel in the Shed

Castle Hill Rebellion - and Battle of Vinegar Hill

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Written by: Op-Ed Monty

The Castle Hill Rebellion, also known as the Second Battle of Vinegar Hill, occurred on March 4th and 5th, 1804, in New South Wales, Australia. It was a pivotal moment in Australia's early colonial history, driven by a mix of political unrest, social inequality, and the desire for freedom among the oppressed convicts and Irish political prisoners.

The catalyst for the rebellion was the oppressive conditions endured by convicts and the lack of rights they faced under British rule. Many convicts were transported to Australia for petty crimes, yet they were subjected to harsh treatment, limited freedoms, and forced labour. Additionally, Irish political prisoners, who were often leaders in rebellion, added fuel to the growing discontent.

Under the leadership of William Johnston, a former Irish rebel, and Philip Cunningham, a convict, a plan to overthrow British authority was devised. The rebels aimed to seize control of key locations, including Parramatta and Sydney, and establish a free settlement.

Read more: Castle Hill Rebellion - and Battle of Vinegar Hill

White Privilege? Or Pioneering Spirit?

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Written by: Op-Ed Monty

As our world becomes more corrupt, complicated and seemingly hopeless, we need to use our minds to seek hope from those who have proven, beyond shadow of doubt, that good can triumph.

I saw an image some time ago that struck me as being quite profound. I called it " white privilege. " Perhaps it should have been pioneer spirit and that, is something that new " migrants"  seem to lack these days. 

It made me wonder how our countries have travelled so far from reality that we are now expected to believe in this myth that we are thinking ourselves superior?  

The countries that gave us birth were apparently founded on so called "white privilege". Our ancestors arrived in our nations with wealth of knowledge.

That is true. The knowledge of hard earned skills and generations of hard learned lessons. 

Read more: White Privilege? Or Pioneering Spirit?

Our Money... Their Duty... Entrusting Government to Spend Wisely and Honestly

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Written by: Op-Ed Monty

The fundamental principle of democratic government is so simple that it rarely survives first contact with a government.

The government exists to serve the people. Not the other way around.

It is not a landlord collecting rent. It is not a casino skimming the table. It is not a mysterious life-form that feeds on paperwork and produces press conferences. It is, or is supposed to be, a custodian.

A caretaker. A pair of hands temporarily placed on the steering wheel of something it does not own.

Taxation, therefore, is not a gift. It is not a donation. It is not a cheerful voluntary contribution dropped into a velvet-lined box marked “For Government Use -  No Peeking.”

It is money taken from citizens for defined public purposes.

Which means, and this is where the discomfort begins, the money never actually becomes the government’s money.

It remains the people’s money.

The government merely holds it.... in trust.

Read more: Our Money... Their Duty... Entrusting Government to Spend Wisely and Honestly

Cobb and Co - and Aussie Legend

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Written by: Op-Ed Flysa

Stagecoaches first emerged as a means of transport in Australia during the early 1800s, drawing inspiration from similar transportation systems in Britain and the United States.

The need for reliable land transport arose with the establishment of penal colonies and the gradual expansion of settlements. Initially, most travel was conducted on horseback or by bullock dray, but these methods were slow and impractical for long-distance travel. 

By 1820, rudimentary coach services began to operate between major settlements such as Sydney, Parramatta, and Windsor.

Early stagecoaches were often simple horse-drawn carriages without their later counterparts' robust engineering and comfort. The harsh Australian terrain and climate posed significant challenges, leading to frequent breakdowns and delays. 

Read more: Cobb and Co - and Aussie Legend

Bomb Threats, Dancing Feathers, and a Tunk in the Dirt: Dusty Gulch in Turmoil

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Written by: Op-Ed Ratty News

DUSTY GULCH GAZETTE

“We Hear Things So You Don’t Have To”
National Echoes & Subsurface Shadows Edition

THE LODGE “BOMB” AND THE DUSTY GULCH “TUNK”:

Coincidence, or Honklander Masterstroke?
By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble
Senior  Correspondent, Acting Vibrational Liaison, and Unofficial Theorist-in-Residence

DUSTY GULCH -  Yesterday’s polite but unmistakable subterranean “tunk”- that deep, throat-clearing knock felt from the knitting circle to the CWA marmalade table - has taken on a decidedly sinister note in light of events 2,000 kilometres away in Canberra. More on that as the story develops....

Read more: Bomb Threats, Dancing Feathers, and a Tunk in the Dirt: Dusty Gulch in Turmoil

"Shoot Straight You Bastards! "

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Written by: Op-Ed Flysa

Why wasn't  Breaker Morant’s poetry taught to us oldies in school? Is it fair to say that this talented Bush Poet, Harry Harbord (Breaker) Morant, was thrown under the bus by Lord Kitchener? 

Kitchener sacrificed Breaker ( and Handcock) in order to mollify the Germans over the killing of a German missionary and to shift the blame of all the death and destruction from himself and the British. As a result, Breaker's remarkable legacy as a poet was lost because of political scapegoating.

His gifted work as a bush poet is largely unknown and therein lies a great tragedy. 

But what really happened? Following is an in-depth look at the man, the story and lead-up to an execution that is now part of Australian history. 

Read more: "Shoot Straight You Bastards! "

Fuctose Intolerance - How to Survive Other People's Bullshit

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Written by: Op-Ed Shaydee Lane

Fuctose Intolerance (FI) is an insidious condition afflicting thousands of otherwise rational individuals. Brought on by prolonged exposure to leftwing rhetoric, FI manifests as an acute inability to digest bullshit sugar-coated narratives, half-baked utopian policies, and artificially sweetened promises of equality.

The condition is often exacerbated by excessive consumption of mainstream media, academic theorists, and government-funded arts festivals.

Sufferers of FI may experience the following symptoms when exposed to progressive discourse ( also known as Bullshit. ) 

  • Sudden eye-rolling, often involuntary, in response to buzzwords such as "lived experience," "safe space," and "redistributive justice."

  • A gag reflex when confronted with opinions suggesting that economics is a zero-sum game.

  • Uncontrollable skepticism when hearing phrases like "fully funded by the government" without mention of taxpayers.

  • Bouts of existential dread upon reading yet another call to "decolonise" mathematics.

If you experience any of the above for more than ten minutes while watching a panel discussion on the ABC, it is highly likely you suffer from FI. Do not panic. There are ways to manage your condition.

Read more: Fuctose Intolerance - How to Survive Other People's Bullshit

Pocket Policy Backfires: Town's Hands Tied, But Locomotives Untethered

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Written by: Op-Ed Ratty News

DUSTY GULCH GAZETTE

“We Point So You Don’t Have To”

Special Edition
By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble, Editor-in-Chief
(Temporarily Under Debris)

 

It began, as most regulatory disasters do, with a press conference and a laminated chart.

Prentis Penjani stood before the Dusty Gulch Water Tower - recently described in a draft memo as “structurally assertive” - and cleared his throat.

Read more: Pocket Policy Backfires: Town's Hands Tied, But Locomotives Untethered

  1. Don’t Blame the Machine
  2. Battle of Iwo Jima
  3. The Master and Margarita
  4. Shadow Feathers Over Dusty Gulch: The Emus’ Secret Return

Page 15 of 270

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